Gate 21

No Pass Out Checks: Post SEC Championship Thoughts 2 December 07

Well, the SEC Championship game is over, and Tennessee lost 21 – 14 to a tough LSU squad and the Great Corndog, Les Miles. While I hate to admit it, I really wasn’t expecting that much from the Vols tonight, I honestly figured that Tennessee would be out-manned and could likely get hammered by the Bayou Bengals. The last few games have been less than outstanding performances on Tennessee’s part. I was just praying that we looked like we deserved to be there. With all the craziness that has come out of this season across the country, I was just waiting for the Vols to go out on the field and get smacked around a’la the Florida game. Fortunately, the Vols were ready and didn’t — in the words of a former Tennessee coach — “Piss down our leg” (God, I miss Kevin O’Neill … well, not really).

Though Tennessee came up short when the contest was over, it wasn’t for lack of effort or due to their being steamrolled by LSU. At the end of the day it was a simple lack of execution on a few key plays that was UT’s undoing. The Great Punkin’ put together a reasonably solid gameplan, and — on the whole — was ready for the Tigers and Les “I’m stayin’ at LSU till I f****in’ die” Miles. In the end, a few key players simply didn’t perform when they needed to.

On the whole, I was pleased with the defense and it’s bend, but don’t break performance. The defensive unit spent a hell of a long time on the field (especially in the first half), and only gave up 14 defensive points to a team which was ranked No. 1 in the country a week or so ago (“Damn those pesky Razorbacks“). The score which won the game for the Tigers came off an interception which was just a damn dumb pass at a really bad time.

I know, I know, all the anti-Fulmerites out there are saying that Ainge should have been coached better, and taught not to throw a pass like that. “Fire that SOB! We never should have fired Johnny! If we hurry maybe we can talk Mike DuBose into coming out of retirement!”

Yeah, yeah…

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that Fulmer probably didn’t pull Erik aside before that play and tell him to do that.

“Alright Erik, this is a heckuva’ game we’ve got here…”

“Yessir, Coach, everything you tell me to do, I will do it. Coach you are omnipotent and all-powerful guide me now in my moment of need…”

“Uh, okay. Man, I wish I had time to go look at the film from the last play, and maybe even the commercials that I didn’t get to see. Aw, Heck! I guess we’re just going to have to call a play.”

“Oh please — in all of your wisdom — show me the way.”

“Erik, you been smoking weed with LeMarcus Coker again? You’re actin’ kinda funny… Anyway, we’ve got a one point lead and the ball, my gut tells me to punt on first down, but — well, heck — I think we should mix it up a bit.”

“Yes, oh great gut, oh, belly of knowledge.”

“Erik, quit rubbing my stomach. Heck, how many times have I told you to stop that. What was I saying? Oh yeah, I was thinking that we would just punt it on first down, but instead I want you to go out there and just throw the ball to that guy whose name I can’t pronounce, and let him run it in for a touchdown.”

“Which guy, Coach? I can’t pronounce any of their names.”

“Heck, I know what you mean … ummmm … how about that guy, ‘Zarnon’ or something like that, at least he doesn’t have an ‘X’ in his name.”

“Okay, Coach. If you say do it, I’ll do it.”

“Well, we’re working like heck here…”

I’m pretty sure none of that occurred. I’m pretty sure that Fulmer was betting on Erik making decisions like a senior and knowing when not to throw the ball right were the defender can pick it off. I’m betting Fulmer had something else in mind.

In the end, Erik did throw it away, and that was that. Close, but no cigar.

Sure, I’d have liked to have won tonight. In the end, however, I was pleased with how Tennessee played. The game was close, and Tennessee was very much in it until the last interception with only a few minutes to go. Tennessee looked like a team that deserved to be in the Championship game, and they played tough for the whole game. I know, that’s a “moral victory” (a/k/a we lost), but I was still pleased with how Tennessee played and how they were coached.

So, all you people who hate Fulmer, hate Chavis, hate Cutcliffe, hate Trooper, hate the cheerleaders, hate the band, and dream of cooking Smokey for dinner, you can just suck it! This season, Tennessee has played very well at times, and very poorly at times. Tonight, the Vols played pretty well — well enough to take LSU down to the final minutes — and I’m betting that Mike Hamilton is not going to be giving Fulmer his walking papers anytime soon. So to all you folks who have been screaming for Fulmer’s head you can take all the innuendo, all the threats, all the complaining, and the name calling (although I will have to say that the jackass who called him “Chunkenstein” on the Final Scoreboard after the Georgia game gets two points for creativity) and shove it. I’ve got no problem with constructive criticism, but all you panty-waist whiners just annoy the hell out of me.

Whether you like it or not, Fulmer’s going to get an extension this year for taking an average team, and almost winning a championship. So you better get used to having him around for a while longer. He’s also going to be working out with Johnny Long in the conditioning center — maintaining that girlish figure of his — getting ready for that “Coaches of the SEC Nude Calendar” which will be coming out in the spring.

Good job Vols, you fought hard but came up short. The fact remains, you got invited to the dance, which is more than Georgia and Florida can say, and there’s still a bowl game.

Also, congratulations to the Tigers of LSU. You earned it, now go represent the SEC well against … ummm … in the … well, er … hell, I give up. I’ve got no clue who’s playing who or where they’ll be playing. We’ll just leave it at “good luck.” Oh yeah, and sorry about all the corndog jokes this week … just couldn’t help myself.

And to think, a few years ago we didn’t even have Bruce and the Barbarians to look forward to during basketball season…

— Go Figure … lawvol

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